This article is a personal account of what it’s like to be 21 and alone during the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. It also highlights that mental health is very important and it takes a toll during these uncertain times. It is okay to reach out for help or maybe even write an article about it to feel better!
Cara Crasto
I remember when the lockdown was announced, I was breathing a little easier. An unprecedented kick of productivity led me to do more things than I could imagine but now I can barely get out of bed. Every day is a little different, much like the weather in Pune. On some days it’s a little too gloomy, somewhat apocalyptic with dramatic clouds, thunder and lightning make the skies look like something out of Stranger Things. Then there are the good days, something out of a ‘How to be productive during a pandemic’ Pin, where I cook good food and really embrace the pandemic and what it’s ‘offering’ me. But it’s unfortunate that these days are so rare! Being alone in this pandemic gives you a weird or rather warped sense of independence that is on the brink of loneliness.
We’ve all read those well-written articles that highlight the importance of coping and taking care of your mental health during this pandemic. The word ‘pandemic’ is being thrown around quite lightly from time to time, but it is scary and the phrase ‘impending doom’ usually follows it in my head. Everyone doesn’t cope the same way, we are all wired a little differently. Productivity during these times is difficult for some. For me, it’s been much like a rollercoaster. I’ve always been the type of person who keeps themselves busy at all times, at least till COVID-19 came along. Off late, I plan and make schedules (which I used to follow quite diligently) only to make a new one that starts two days from today. This lack of routine which we’re so used to is the problem but I’m not here to offer solutions. I’m here to say something that has been said so many times but it is so important that it can never be redundant — “It’s okay to not be okay.”
This lockdown is proving to be more of a challenge with every passing day with a plethora of questions bombarding my mind every second. “Should I tell my parents to come back?”, “What about my Masters?”, “Am I going to graduate?”. But the one that really haunts me is, “When will this be over?” I always thought the homebody in me would really thrive during these months catching up on all the series’ recommendations and playing PUBG all night. But after a while, you just miss being outside and not within these walls. You miss people. You miss your family. You miss your girls. (Don’t miss your ex). I really appreciate those mini drives to the grocery where I drive to the farthest possible shop.
One thing that I did achieve during this lockdown was making new friends, something I struggle with otherwise. I made friends on PUBG and now I call them by their gamer IDs and occasionally even forget their real names. I’ve even gotten close to some of my old friends who live in the same building complex as me. On most days, we bake cakes, play card games, and watch movies. Sometimes, we just sit on the terrace and watch the apocalyptic and dramatic sky set the stage for the rain to come. Life has been reduced to a bad Netflix rom-com movie with no storyline but just random happy and sad moments with a sprinkle of confusion.
It reminds me of most conversations I’ve had lately, the same plot but different characters. There’s nothing new to share except I learned how to clean prawns today and I also managed to hurt myself in the process and of course, I colored my hair purple. I forgot to sleep because the loud bird that coos every night at 2.30 AM on the dot, didn’t show up. Everything has come to a standstill and the monotony of not doing what you want is becoming unbearable, coupled with the inferiority complex you get by looking at others being productive on social media. Also, can people stop baking banana bread?
The new schedule starts yesterday and I’ve done precisely two out of thirteen things on my list. The sky is a little clearer (just like my head), a few dark clouds here and there. The wind is disgustingly hot but I breathe a little easier. Prawn Curry and Rice makes me miss my parents a little bit more than usual.
It’s 1 pm. Time for bed. “Alexa, play Apple Pie by Lizzie McAlpine.” Good night.
Cara is a student from Fergusson College and a musician with interests ranging from memes to anything Psychology. Follow Cara on her Instagram page.
Articles published on the blog are the statements, views, opinions of the author and don’t necessarily reflect the position of the organization. Read the entire disclaimer on Margika’s website.
